Have you ever felt like you had something more to offer the world but didn't know how to tap into it? Have you ever struggled to find that main "thing" you should be doing as an artist? As a creative? As a human being? Would you believe me if I told you, I completely understand? For me, it was just that. There I was at the age of 28, same routine, same stress, same blank space of trying to figure out what else I was supposed to be doing with my life. I'd been stuck with this burning desire living inside of me and I could not figure out what it was. No seriously, often times, it felt like sparks were running through my entire chest! I would become frustrated with myself because I knew there was so much more in me and I could not identify what it was and what to do with it.
One day while minding my business, I was communicating with a friend and we began to discuss life. I shared with him the space I'd been in and he suggested I try something out of my norm. At first, I was reluctant, but I ended up going to purchase the items he suggested, to begin a new journey. I had no idea what I was doing once I got in front of the canvas on January 22, 2015 and so I decided I'd mimic the simplest thing I could find on YouTube.
An easy silhouette of two people admiring each other. From there, I felt I was on to something. The next few pieces consisted of a bowl of fruit from my dining room table and another piece of art I'd seen online.
By this time, I had to take a step back and encourage myself to stop looking at other people's work and just try to paint what my mind, heart, emotions and feelings would lead me to. As time grew, I started to become more interested in painting, so much that I would rush home to get to it. I started creating abstract pieces and would show them only to a limited number of my family and friends. Some did not take me seriously initially because I am always, as I would describe, "exploring my options." They would give their feedback and I would think to myself, "Are they lying? Are they just saying that because they love me? Are they being truthful?" They would respond so nonchalantly while I was ecstatic about my work, that it would make me feel like I needed to go even harder. I was never discouraged by their feedback, thoughts or opinions, because it was only information. If anything, my motivation was enhanced.
It was a year in before I sold any piece of my artwork or even displayed it on social media. It was exactly a year and nine months before I participated in my first ever art event and the level of nervousness and excitement was through the roof! However, I was confident in what I was about to do. I spent countless nights prepping and promoting for the day. This was the day I realized how many people actually believed in me and my work, compared to when I first started my art mission. It was because of the commitment I made to myself and new found gift, to never give up on me...it reflected in my presence and abilities that evening. My family and friends showed up and showed out to celebrate me stepping into a new journey. From that particular moment, I knew I was where I was supposed to be. Not because people believed in me, but because of the impact I had on them in that moment. Until this day, I have not felt those sparks in my chest that were trying to escape into my being. I honestly believe it's because I made a clear decision to follow through on my passion, in order to serve my purpose.